Don’t Do This!

Traveling is a perfect way to broaden your horizons.  It’s life changing, mind-boggling, and blows your preconceived notions out of the water. But no matter how carefully you plan, things will occasionally go wrong. As I read over my travel diaries in preparation for this blog, I kept seeing the phrase, “be more careful” – next time I’ll be more careful, etc.

Actually, the more I think about it, I’m not sure I like that phrase. In many ways, it’s the antithesis of adventure. If you’re too careful you might never leave your home.  You might never dare to travel at all and what would be the fun in that? Better to say you’ll learn from your mistakes and do better next time. Frankly, since you’ll make mistakes no matter where you are – even in your living room – you might as well make a monkey of yourself in an exotic place full of travelers who are just as happy and confused as you.

Epic Travail Fails

This page is a work in progress, as I’m sure  travel blunders will continue to happen as long as I choose to wander.

Carry on – French Connection.

For an extra exciting travel blunder, be sure to steal someone’s luggage when you arrive in Paris. To find out what happens click here.

Uber Blunder

We needed a ride to the airport. Uber seemed like a good idea. It wasn’t. To find out why  Click here.

Shocking International Incident — My mother and I recently enjoyed a long-awaited tour of Ireland. All in all it was a delightful trip, as long as you don’t count the part where I was held hostage in the Shannon airport. To see what happened click here.

Sixty Dollar Burger – We’d just ordered lunch in the Hard Rock Cafe in Oslo Norway.  As the waiter departed I suddenly decided I wanted a chocolate malt. As I raised my hand to catch the waiters eye, and my husband grabbed it. “Wait,” he said, staring intently at the menu.  “I just figured out the exchange rate. I think a  milkshake here costs nineteen dollars!” Visions of the meal we’d just ordered flashed before my eyes. Uh – Oh . . . More here.

Faceplant in Finland –  I had just gotten off a tour bus in Helsinki Finland. As our group hurried along, I lost sight of my husband and anxiously began to scan the crowd. Scanning and walking at the same time are apparently too much for my small brain and the next thing I knew – Boom!  I was face down on the sidewalk. Did I live to tell the story? Find out here.

Questionable Food – It’s always a good idea to sample the local cuisine, but sometimes you have to draw the line. My friend Debbie is very adventurous and when offered a local delicacy – slice of bread slathered with lard and sprinkled with paprika – she didn’t say no. We’re still monitoring her health. For more questionable food stories continue reading.

Tidying Up the Airport – My husband is a kind person who enjoys helping others whenever possible (especially airport janitorial staff ?) but sweeping the concourse with your personal pillow, is that really necessary?

After walking about 40 miles through the airport we discovered that my husband’s travel pillow had slipped down around the wheels of his suitcase and was effectively cleaning the floor.  The pillow was so filthy by the time we noticed, that it had to be thrown away.
Hot Travel Tip: Never sleep on anything that has scrubbed the floor of the airport.

Best Way to Ruin Your Trip –  As I looked out the window of the bus I had just boarded, I noticed a woman jumping up and down and waving desperately to get my attention.  When I met her eyes, she pointed to the bus stop bench where I’d been sitting.  “NOOOO!” I leaped from my seat and flung myself out the door – Dramatic ending here.

Watch for new installments like these:

Like a trail of breadcrumbs –

Priceline – We Need a VAN –

Ham Ban  –

Check the Trunk –

Max Out Taxi –

Nose Pick Ferry –

How to Lose  Your Wife – 

Under-Water Statues –

Raclette?!